Remunerations
by NamelessSaint
Summary: A one-shot. Alice is not satisfied with her life, and wants what she cannot have. Very dark, and no happy endings.


Remunerations

Alice opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of their bedroom. The ceiling—wooden, cold—loomed in her vision and brought with it feelings of, of something. She had stared at this same ceiling for exactly 349 days now, and each time that she opened her eyes, in the hopes of seeing something different, it always remained the same. She turned her head and watched him sleep, his gentle breathing causing the blankets the rise slightly and then fall back down. She blinked several times, and then reached out softly touch his flamboyant red hair—not as crazy as it had been the second time she found her way to Underland, but still extremely bright and shiny. She turned her body to face him, but he remained asleep, as always when she woke before him, every morning. Even though these hours were peaceful in appearance, there was also her troubled heart, and she was determined to find answers this day, and to finally find happiness. Alice frowned slightly and then turned away from her husband and quietly left their bed.

The Champion looked at herself in her mirror, and then her eyes drifted down to her stomach, still flat and muscled as her workouts had made her strong. She would find him staring at her stomach at times, and she knew what he was thinking, wondering why, after all these months, that she still remained without child. And she knew that if he knew the truth of it, it would break him, without recourse to repair. But her heart remained cold, and even though she had much affection for him, there was just something missing, and it grieved both of them. She put on her linen shirt and kilt and then put the chain mail over the shirt, making sure to fasten it properly this time. She hadn't three days ago, and now had a good bruise to show for it. Next came the scabbard, and then finally, the Vorpal sword.

Alice had longed to wear the Armor of Underland again, but, as the White Queen had told her, it was no longer needed. She had the feeling that the White Queen had meant to say that she was no longer needed, but chose not to do so, for some inexplicable reason. She sighed and turned away from her mirror and then peaked inside their bedroom door. Tarrant was still asleep, so she shut the door and left their modest rooms, on the second floor of Marmoreal's castle. And so the morning duties called for her attention, and she thought of lacing her tea with a few good shots of whiskey, but knew that if she did her steadfastness would be weakened, and she had vowed to herself never to do that again.

* * *

Tarrant opened his eyes as soon as Alice left their residence and then looked over to the spot of the bed that she slept on. He slowly bent down and let the particular scent of his wife filter through him, and into his consciousness. He sighed and then sat up, feeling desolate again, and wishing for something—anything—to fill the empty place in his heart. She had refused him again, and his frustration spewed out this time, causing them heartache. After the reconciliation she had held him in her arms, and tried to soothe the frazzled ends of his mind. It was sweet, but lasted for only a short time. And then she was asleep, and he was not.

There was a lot to do this day, as everyone was expecting the White Queen to announce her engagement on this day. And when she did, the orders for hats would double, and his modest shop was sometimes too small to handle such loads. But, if the ladies of the court wanted hats for the upcoming nuptials, then he would be happy to make them. These days, it was his only joy.

* * *

Alice knocked at the White Queen's door and waited for the usual response. But today, the response did not come immediately and she opened the door and stepped inside the inner sanctum. The Queen was at her own mirror, and looking at herself while she brushed her hair.

After a short while the Queen looked over to her. "What are you waiting for, take off your clothes."

"Not today, I'm afraid."

Mirana stopped brushing her hair and turned to her Champion. "What did you say?"

"I want to talk with you, your Majesty." Alice stood her ground, and did not move from the spot.

The Queen sighed, and put her brush down. "About what?"

Alice felt a small pang in her heart. "Is it true? Have you decided to marry that bastard?"

"You will watch your tongue in my presence, Champion."

"Watch my tongue? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You know as well as I what you like my tongue to do."

"Are you unhappy with our arrangement?"

"Aren't you?" Alice could no longer contain her fury. "Why do you do this to me? You keep me around as your stud and that's it! Why won't you allow me into your heart, Mirana!"

The Queen whirled around to face her. "And why should I, you married that freak the moment you came back to Underland for good! You didn't even give me the chance to court you, or to make you a Queen's Champion!"

Alice groaned and looked away, the truth of the Queen's words like a slap on the face. "Everyone expected me to, even you. Your lords and ladies practically threw me at him and I was caught up in the excitement of it all. But, I don't…I can't…"

The White Queen continued to stare at her Champion, but the coldness in her eyes was too much. "What is it? Are you still allowing him to fuck you?"

Alice advanced on the Queen and grabbed her by the dressing gown. "What business is that of yours? Are you still fucking that dullard prince? You are such a hypocrite." She grabbed hold of Mirana and turned her around, and then bent her over a table. "You want me for this, only for this, don't you?" She placed herself over Mirana and pushed her hips into the woman below her.

"Alice…please listen to me…"

"Why should I?" And Alice felt her pain keenly—her want and desire and love for the Queen forgotten in her time of rage. "You love this, admit it."

The Queen could feel Alice hiking up her robe and trying to unfasten her kilt at the same time. It took only a short while before she felt her Champion's wet center pressing into her backside. Mirana groaned at the contact, but her heart told her that she wanted—needed—much more than this. "Please, don't do this…please…"

Alice thrust her hips only once, and then she fell onto Mirana's back, her pain and pleasure becoming indistinct from the other. She felt hot tears pour down her cheeks. "Don't you understand, Mirana? I love you." She felt her heart crack, and the tears continued.

The White Queen squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of her Champion's wailing, and she gently turned her body and stood, bringing Alice up with her. "I'm sorry, Alice. I don't want to cause either of us any more pain."

Alice broke from the embrace and staggered back. "What's going to change? Nothing!"

The White Queen tried to straighten out her housecoat. "What do you mean?"

"Are you still going to marry him?"

Mirana turned away and walked to her desk; she placed a hand on it and lowered her head. "I don't know what else to do. The engagement has been decided. It will unite our two kingdoms and bring much needed peace to the Outlands."

"What about me?" Alice reached down and picked up the kilt, but it was difficult to put on as her tears blinded her eyes.

"You will always have my love, my Champion."

"What is that going to do when I'm in bed with my husband? How is just your love going to keep me warm? I want you to call off your engagement and allow me to divorce Tarrant!"

The Queen turned to face her Champion. "And how am I supposed to do that? If I refuse to marry the prince my kingdom may go to war. And if I go to war you will be at the head of my army, and could die!"

"What if I promise not to? You could select another general."

"As I said, you will always have my heart, and sometimes my body, but I can't change what has already been agreed to." Mirana felt her own heart lurch, and she realized she loved her Champion, and not the prince, and that knowledge crippled her.

And Alice saw for herself the love that the Queen bore her, and her heart cracked some more because of the hopelessness it brought. She wiped at her tears. "I won't be needing that potion any more."

Mirana's eyes went wide. "What? You can't mean that."

"Oh, yes, I can. If you won't have me, and if he still wants children, I might as well give them to him."

"You would break your Queen's heart, do you know that?"

"Just as my heart will be broken when you bear your first child." A coldness settled into Alice, and she resigned herself to a bleak future. She left the Queen's chambers that morning and never returned to them.

* * *

And Mirana stayed true to her word, and released her Champion from her service, as not to continually break her heart. And eleven months later gave birth to a daughter, who she named Alice. At her christening Alice stood at her Queen's side as Champion, and knelt to pledge her fealty to the young princess of the realm. No one knows for sure, but shortly after that the Champion disappeared, and was never seen in Underland again. Some say she returned to the world above, and made a life for herself there. But there were those who claimed that she did, indeed, remain in Underland and moved far away from Marmoreal. Perhaps to the Outlands, but no one can be sure.

* * *

A year after Alice disappeared the Hatter committed suicide, and hung himself in his shop, as his sorrow could not be mended, and the mercury poisoning had no cure.

* * *

Ten years after the Hatter killed himself the White Queen found herself at his grave, bringing with her the yearly bouquet of white roses. She stared at the headstone for more than an hour, and contemplated many things in her heart. Her husband and daughter watched her go and waved their goodbyes, secure in the knowledge that they would see her later on in the early evening. But the night came and went, and the White Queen did not return, and a vast company was set out to search for her, but they never found her. Some say she wandered Underland in search of her Champion, and others said she made her way to the world above, and found Alice, and pledged herself to her Champion for the rest of their lives. But no one can be sure, at this point.


End file.
